Sex Toys Part I : Why All The Shade?

By: Omiyea Stanford, UHPP Youth Health Promoter

Here’s the golden question: Why are sex toys taboo? Believe it or not, sex toys go back as far humans do. The world’s oldest dildo was 20 cm long and made of siltstone. Found in the Hohle Fels cave near Ulm, Germany, it dates back to the Upper Paleolithic Period (30,000 yrs. ago). Wealthy Renaissance women would show off their expensive dildos made of materials like silver, gold, and ivory. Olive oil was used as lube as far back as 350 BC. Yea! And guess what? Sex toys are found in every culture. All around the world they vary in design, function, and type. In ancient Greece, women prior to 5th century BC had dildos they called “Olisbos”. Chinese women in the 15th century used dildos made of lacquered wood with textured surfaces. In ancient China people used penis rings made of goat’s eyelids. Ben Wa Balls, or Kegal balls have been present in Asian culture since 500 AD. There are even strap-on’s depicted in the Kama Sutra! Sex toys are even found in nature. That’s right, some animals masturbate using a sex toy. Those sex toys may not be that high tech, but they are sex toys none the less. Our ancestors and wild friends get the message, so why all the shade? The reason sex toys are so taboo is the fact that they are outright expressions of sexuality and desire, which, unfortunately, is something we don’t handle so well in our culture. 

The Hohle Fels cave phallus

Despite the reality, the majority believes that sexual stimulation is an indulgence or a choice, and that sexuality is simply just a blanket term that covers sexual orientation and desire. This misconception exists because sex and sexuality are culturally unaccepted. Let’s take a closer look, and break down the bass-awkwardness of this logic. The fact is that with the exception of complete asexuality, sexual stimulation is a basic human want and need, period point blank. Believe it or not, it’s right up there in line with eating, and sleeping. Accept it, it’s true! You are a sexual being. It’s not just an indulgence, it’s a necessity. This disconnection makes all the difference in our perceptions. Consequently, our perceptions make all the difference in our actions and views. Imagine if sleeping and eating were suddenly considered indulgences the way sex and sexual stimulation are. Seems unfathomable does it not? That’s because it is! And what about sexuality? Sexuality is the realm of sexual desire or interest as it pertains to an individual. Our very identities as individuals are actually rooted in our sexuality, and vice versa. It’s NOT just as simple as just sexual orientation and desire. Your sexuality isn’t only about sex and desire, it’s part of you! It’s the essence of YOU as it pertains to sexual identity, intimacy, sensuality, sexualization, sexual and reproductive health, AND pleasure and desire. So go ahead people, embrace it! Get in touch with every aspect of your sexually! And what better way to do that than with trying a sex toy?

An ancient Greek vase depicting a woman and her olisbos

Sex toys can be extremely empowering, and can be a huge help in accepting, and exploring the depths of your own sexuality. BUT, most people get stuck on the negative stereotypes and ideas surrounding sex toys. I’m quite sure you can think of a couple. Do any that come to mind sound like: they’re dirty, weird, freaky, or unnecessary? How about: penetrative sex toys are for females and gay men, not straight men? Or: you shouldn’t need them if you’re in a relationship?

This art from a church pamphlet from the Middle Ages appears to
depict women shopping at a "dildo store"

Tune out all of the background noise for a sec and listen to this: If you’re NOT in a relationship, and/or are not sexually active, using a sex toy can give you the means to take charge of your own pleasure. If you ARE in a relationship, they can drop kick the living daylights out of boredom and spice things up to the point of flames. They can allow for pleasure where pleasure once seemed impossible to achieve. They can be used to explore the extent of sense stimulation and pleasure. They can expand and reshape your views on pleasure itself! Some sex toys, like Ben Wa Balls, more commonly known as Kegal balls, can be used to strengthen the muscles of your whole pelvic region, AND intensify sexual sensitivity and orgasm. Talk about two birds with one stone. They can even be the perfect aids to abstinence! Contrary to popular belief, if you’re trying to be abstinent, using sex toys with masturbation can actually help with temptation. Why? Because the need for sexual stimulation isn’t being suppressed. Sexuality is still able to be embraced and explored. Add some sexual and reproductive health education to that, along with some healthy relationship training and you have a responsible adult ready to navigate the sexual world when they’re ready. Imagine that. Have I beat this dead horse long enough? 

An actual "steam-punk" dildo.

In conclusion; start tuning out all the background noise. Know that sexual stimulation IS a basic human want and need for many people. Know that sexuality is a part of who you are, and a part of everything that makes you uniquely YOU. Know that it’s your right to explore your sexuality and find out what might make you feel good, and sex toys are an amazing way to do that, so go nuts! Take advantage of them, you sexual creatures you. Go forth from here and prosper.

PS: Wanna know about more about sex toy types, safety, and more? Stay tuned for Sex Toys Part II: The ABC’s & 123’s Of Sex Toys and learn your sex toy basics!