Letter to the Editor: Prevention starts with conversation

By Letters to the editor on April 26, 2016 at 3:31 AM - Reprinted from the Albany Times Union.

Most people have ideas about what sexual assault looks like. Two strangers, physical force, male perpetrator and female victim.

But this isn’t reality. Sexual assault takes on countless forms of verbal, physical or mental abuse, from vicious shaming to the slightest touch.

Anyone can be a victim or a perpetrator, be they male, female or intersex, friend, foe, acquaintance or stranger. It is sexual assault anytime one receives sexual contact or attention of any kind without having given consent to receive it.

Part of the reason sexual assault plagues us is that we put more focus into teaching our kids to abstain from sex than we do teaching them how to be healthy, safe and responsible when they become sexually active.

Consent is an immeasurable part of sexual health, safety and responsibility. It’s lack of knowledge of, and respect for, consent that is the issue in the case of sexual assault.

Without proper understanding of consent, our young adults are vulnerable to either being sexually assaulted, or sexually assaulting another person.

It’s time we learn that sexual assault isn’t a rarity that affects certain people. It happens every day in countless ways, and many of us cannot recognize sexual assault when we see, or even inflict it.

Change is long overdue. We are Planned Parenthood, and we are taking a stand. It’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and it’s time to spread the word.

Prevention starts with having the conversation about consent.

Omiyea Stanford

Youth Health Promoter, Upper Hudson Planned Parenthood

Albany

No, Stop, Quit it, ENOUGH!

The video below addresses the apparently confusing matter of how to treat a girl who has had too much to drink. Rather than treating her like an inflatable doll and then blaming HER for any assault she may have withstood while in a drunken stupor, think about some of your less sober college days.  Hey, perhaps you still indulge in the hooch to excess in your free time.  No judgment here-- as long as nobody gets hurt.  I'm also sure that none of you have ever done anything really, really, stupid (I'm not just talking about funny stupid-- I'm talking about potentially life-threatening or at the very least end-up-in-jail stupid). 

So why is it socially acceptable for some to treat women in such a terrible way?  Regarding the now-infamous Steubenville case, the victim blaming that occured afterward was horrifying.  Not only was there sympathy for the rapists, ("They had such promising futures!") but she was publicly humiliated when her name was released and her identity was revealed, resulting in death threats.  And the logic behind this, essentially, is that "she had it coming because she drank too much," or "she should have known better."  Just because she drank too much doesn't mean she should suffer the gross injustices inflicted upon her. 

If you are a college-age individual, I ask you: how would you feel if one of your less-than-classy moments of drunkenness was paraded all over the media for everyone to see and judge you upon?  Even without having been raped, I'm sure you would have been mortified.  If you are older and maybe have children of your own,  how would you feel if this happened to your daughter? 

It's time for the victim shaming to stop.  It's time for people to quit treating intoxicated women as public property, and it's definitely time to end this pervasive rape culture.  So who's with me?